My Experience of Online Dating

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Whenever I think of Online Dating, the first thing that comes to mind is two middle-aged people, one of whom is divorced or widowed, using Match.com in order to find love again or at least to find someone to be your plus one to events. You know, the type of events that offer you a plus one as a courtesy but in actual fact, having a plus one is a requirement of attending.

The reality of online dating is so much different. Truthfully, everyone is using the Internet to find the love of their life (or at least someone to love for the night) from your younger sibling to your grandfather. The Internet opens up the probability of meeting someone of a similar age and background and with similar interest to yourself without distance or a chance meeting being a factor.

It was only after I started University that I discovered Online Dating through the use of Dating apps. I was 18 and had never had a boyfriend and had quickly discovered that club nights out were not going to be the way I was going to find one. My course was small with only 40 people per year and of those 40 people, there were only a handful of people who were single, only of one those people a boy.

My dating app of choice was Tinder. Highly popularized by both College and University students as well as young adults, the swiping aspect added an element of fun to dating. All my single friends were using it. We would send each other screenshots of people we had matched with for approval, lightheartedly make fun of people we knew whom we found on the app and exchange phones so we could play matchmaker for each other.

I went on a few dates with people who I matched with through Tinder but ultimately, I could not find what I was looking for. I could not help feeling like every conversation I had was superficial, talking about University and work and their favourite movie. The dates were not unpleasant but they all seemed to blend into one. I could not help feeling like there had to be more to dating than this.

It was only by chance that a friend recommended I try Bumble instead of Tinder, having listened to me moan about terrible chat-up lines a few too many times. Bumble allows the girl to message first, which means I would be able to set the tone of the conversation, as a common misconception is that everyone on dating apps is just looking for a hook-up. By messaging first, I would be able to break this illusion and scare off anyone just looking for a hook-up.

After two and a half years of installing, deleting and then re-installing dating apps, I finally found what I was looking for. Someone who I want to make-out with but also wake up next to in the morning. Someone who I want to have brunch with and laugh with until my stomach hurts. Someone who I know will be there for me, whether I am laughing or crying, looking my best or my worst and who is not afraid to tell me that they care every single day.

Hold on ladies, your Prince (or Princess) Charming is out there.

Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

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34 comments

    • Thank you! I would recommend using Bumble – being able to send the first message meant I could weed out the creepy guys because they just would not respond to me. It definitely takes a while to find the one but keep at it. x

      Liked by 1 person

  1. AAAWWWWWWWWWWWW that first comment though, you two are too cute to handle! This is such a lighthearted yet insightful post! I think while dating apps aren’t necessarily new, they have only been really taking off these last few years. I’ve actually never been on one, though I definitely would like to try one day. The thing I notice, is that a lot of the time, people are still shamed for using dating apps, even though a big chunk of the population does nowadays.

    A friend of mine was once told that she was only on dating apps because she couldn’t “score a guy in real life” – comments like that are HORRIBLE, yet still happen quite a lot. I think of dating apps as expanding the dating pool and giving you an easy portal to meet even more people and potential partners. It’s crazy to think that that wasn’t always possible, so in my opinion we should be grateful for technology and all it has to offer nowadays. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you haha – he’s alright I suppose ;P
      I agree. When we tell people about how we met, there is a part of me that wants to change our story to avoid the awkward conversation about meeting online but by doing that, I feel I only prevent the acceptance of meeting people via dating apps. Because the truth is, ir is not all hook-ups or middle-aged people but working people who want to meet someone.
      That sounds absolutely horrible! I would much rather meet someone online who I love and care about than be in a relationship with someone I met in real life and be unhappy. Feel free to pass my story onto the haters to shut them up.
      Thank you for the long comment as always. 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Such a cute story! I might try Bumble as well. I can relate to your experience with being single at 18, no single boys in the course and the superficial Tinder conversations. so thank you for sharing! I also was in need of that last sentence, sometimes you simply need reminders haha Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! I would honestly recommend – I found that only guys who were genuinely interested in going on dates would respond since my starting message would normally be a philosophical question, stating loud and clear I wasn’t looking just for hook-ups. Also remember that there is no rush – I know everyone says that but honestly being single my entire University career helped me focus on work so I was able to graduate with a good grade and I knew a few people who failed exams or practicals because of a broken-heart. Good luck! xx

      Like

  3. Aw I love this post and this story – so happy for you, finding someone special is honestly the best thing. I met my boyfriend through uni about 4 years ago so never really did online dating but it’s so nice to hear a positive love story from it! X

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am so sorry to hear that – it is definitely his loss! I think it is a good way of skipping that awkward are you single talk because everyone on dating apps should be single. Also, I liked that I got to set the tone of the conversation with Bumble so I would stop getting inappropriate first messages. Although I did get one guy tell me he would like to be a pedophile in a film so maybe not all… Good luck! x

      Like

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